off we go! into the wild blue yonder...

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Yep. I leave for Peru in a very very few hours. My TWO bags are packed (so snugly that I'm pretty sure no more AIR could fit) and I've eaten my "last supper" and I've taken my last American shower and I've blow-dried and straightened my hair for the last time until August. Crazy.

And, to top off the night, I just got to talk to Allison Rogers who just RETURNED from a ten-day trip to Peru, and her passion and excitement for the people and the country has DEFINITELY rubbed off on me. God is so faithful! Just when I was stressing again about my hiking pack not being symmetrical, He provides encouragement. What a good God we serve.

So, I leave tomorrow. Not sure when I'll be able to update again, but as soon as I can, I'll let you know. :)

For now...

How GREAT is our God!
Sing with me!
How GREAT is our God!
And all will see
How great, how great is our God!

Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee
How GREAT Thou art! How GREAT Thou art.

His eye is on the sparrow...

Why should I feel discouraged, why should the shadows come,
Why should my heart be lonely, and long for heav’n and home,
When Jesus is my portion? My constant Friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

“Let not your heart be troubled,” His tender word I hear,
And resting on His goodness, I lose my doubts and fears;
Though by the path He leadeth, but one step I may see;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Whenever I am tempted, whenever clouds arise,
When songs give place to sighing, when hope within me dies,
I draw the closer to Him, from care He sets me free;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me;
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.
I sing because I’m happy, I sing because I’m free,
For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Charles H. Gabriel, 1905
Matthew 10:29-31

Three years ago this June, I went to the airport with my boyfriend at the time and his family as he was leaving for a summer-long mission trip to the Philippines. I had handled everything really well until we were watching as his plane pulled onto the runway and then pulled back up to the terminal...for what reason we had no clue. Every crazy bad thing that could happen started flooding into my head, and worry hijacked my heart. And then, out of the corner of my tear-filled eye, I saw three little birds flitting around the airport, and these verses popped into my head. (Praise God for His Word and for parents who encourage hiding it in my heart!) "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows."

I think we associate these verses with being comfortable too often. Jesus loves us! Hooray! But SO MANY PEOPLE AROUND THE WORLD DON'T KNOW THAT. The context of these verses is Jesus sending out His disciples on the mission trip of a lifetime. He showed them the crowds for whom He had so much compassion and told them that the harvest was ready - to pray for God to send out workers. Then Jesus gave them authority and power in His name and gave them specific instructions about who to serve, how to serve, and a pretty radical packing list - NOTHING. :/ yikes.

He warned them that this would not be easy - that the crowds would turn against them and persecute them. But He says DO NOT BE AFRAID. He challenges "Anyone who does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

So I sing because I'm HAPPY - striving to do His will, follow His commands, living life as He did in INTIMATE fellowship with the God of the universe.
I sing because I'm FREE - free from the American Dream, from materialism, FREE from sin that holds me back.
His eye is on the sparrow, and I KNOW He watches me.

My 7-year-old cousin Layla gave me a card today to take with me to Peru, and in it she wrote, "Dear Amber I will miss you remember this : Fear not for I am with thee. Ihsaiha 43:5"
Fear not. For HE IS WITH ME. We serve a God who loves His children, who knows the number of hairs on their heads! And this is what He has called us to do....
"Then Jesus came to them and said, "ALL AUTHORITY on heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, GO and MAKE DISCIPLES of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely, I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS, to the very end of the age." - Matthew 28:18-20

we said YES to the dress[es]!

Today, I went shopping with Heather and her mom to look at wedding dresses for Heather's wedding... and we found the PERFECT ONE! No details for now - Jonathan is not allowed to know :) - but it's going to be good! [I found a really pretty bridesmaid dress that I'm excited to wear too! But that is merely secondary.]

For a girl who doesn't like to shop, I've gone shopping altogether too much this weekend. Friday I went to Jackson with my grandmother for her doctor's appointment and we shopped for some "grown-up dresses" for my precocious seven- and five-year-old cousins. Surprisingly, I really enjoyed shopping for them (even though I really DON'T like shopping for myself). I suppose it's because shopping for others feels like living out an episode of "Say Yes to the Dress" or "What Not To Wear" to me - thanks to tooooooo much TLC this summer break so far.

In other news.................

There was a plane crash in India today... pray for the victims' families, that they will turn to God in the midst of their loss... and for those eight who survived, that they will recognize God's hand and His purpose in their lives....

Also, had God not changed my plans, I would have been on a plane there... today or tomorrow... PRAY for those who WILL be serving in India this summer... as well as in other places all around the world facing political unrest and less-than-perfect circumstances... thankfully, our God is sovereign over circumstances... :D

Also, there have been two earthquakes in Peru in the past three days. :)

Things are happening. I'm incredibly excited to start happening, too.

i'll BE there... two weeks from today...

I think I'm beginning to go into incapable-of-moving-because-I'm-so-amazed-at-how-fast-these-past-few-weeks-have-gone-by mode (also known as SHOCK but that doesn't clarify my feelings well enough).

There is still so much that I need to do before leaving next, next week...so many people I want to see...so many books/articles I want to read...so many useful phrases I need to learn in Spanish (how do you say "Hi, my name is __" again??)...so many things to fit in a hiking backpack... ahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

I need a list! I need a schedule! I need a personal secretary!

I am absolutely incapable of typing the words "I need to let go" without putting them in quotation marks. I'm so afraid that if I let go and trust God to get my luggage to Peru with me it just won't happen. I'm terrified that if I don't put in hours of studying Spanish over the next few days, I'll forget everything I know once my feet hit Latin American soil. I can't even consider the fact that I won't be able to talk to my parents or my friends whenever I'd like for two entire months. What if something happens while I'm gone and I MISS IT??

This is where the "ADVENTURE" part of "Adventure in Peru" comes into play, Amber. Don't you WANT an adventurous summer? Don't you WANT to see God glorified in ways that you've never seen before? Don't you WANT the challenge and the growth that comes with having nothing to lean on but the Rock of Ages? Yes. Yes. Yes.

So here I go... Trusting in the Lord with ALL my heart... not depending on my own understanding... acknowledging HIM in all my ways (by His grace and His grace alone)... knowing He will direct my path... and my to-do list.

hard to love.

amazing weekend and i'm exhausted. here's the run-down.

Friday: nada. well except taking a walk with mom and dad around our newly christened "walking trail" around the perimeter of our yard... garden snakes and all, it's a lot of fun. a veritable Walden for me.

Saturday: hung out with my friend HEATHER - i just love her - and then went to Dad's Sunday school class fellowship at my cousins' house and played with the kids for a majority of the time - my favorite. then went to the girls' dance recital in Ackerman... interesting. a night of Hannah Montana. :/ but not TOO too bad.

Today: senior celebration breakfast at church - hung out with the kids. Sunday school - talked about marriage and its challenges. sang. i LOVE hymns. LOVE LOVE LOVE. and our pastor talked about choices - which made me reflect on the number of choices I've made relatively independently the past three years. crazy. and of course, a pew-full of kids sat with us. then went to Mamaw's for lunch - KIDS. Layla and Lillie came home with mom and me - crazy afternoon of breaking up arguments and "positive discipline" (thank you, early childhood education). went back to church and practiced praise hymns with Corey and Matthew. Bible study class talked about Jonathan Edwards turning down a guy who asked for his daughter's hand in marriage because she wasn't worthy of him. :/ (REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF JOSH MCCORMICK). sang praise hymns with words on the screen for the congregation for, like, the FIRST TIME EVER at Bethel. it was great. really. really. great. worship was wonderful. afterwards played outside for an hour with all the kids. came home. ate cereal for dinner like the good ol' days. and now. sitting. for the first time all day i think.

What I've learned this weekend...
I really really like kids. However, working with them is not easy. Therefore, this summer will not be easy. (Ha! Finally I realize this.)
So much of the conversation going on around here this weekend has been about love and how tough love can be. Apparently, God is trying to get something of reality into my stubborn Amber-land mentality.
Too often we view children's ministry and (especially) work with orphans as something sweet and cute and (at times) good for publicity - obviously, because kids are cute! But this is not an area of ministry that comes without its challenges. I can't imagine the ways God is going to stretch me this summer, and I can't say it as beautifully as Amy Carmichael, so I'll quote her. Amy was a missionary in India for 60-some-odd years without furlough until her death, working with children who had been sold into temple prostitution or otherwise abandoned by their parents. These are words from the Lord she was inspired to write down about her circumstances...

"These children are dear to Me. Be a mother to them, and more than a mother. Watch over them tenderly, be just and kind. If thy heart is not large enough to embrace them, I will enlarge it after a pattern of My Own. If these young children are docile and obedient, bless Me for it; if they are froward, call upon Me for help; if they weary thee, I will be thy consolation; if thou sink under thy burden, I will be thy reward." (from A Chance to Die by Elisabeth Eliot)

How beautiful. At the end of it all, He is my consolation. He is my reward. No matter how difficult I am to love, He loves me. What consolation! And He desperately loves the people I am going to meet this summer. He SO desires to flip their cultural idea of lackadaisical fatherhood upside down and display to them the Father who loved His wayward children enough to send His Son to pay their debt, to redeem them from their wickedness. What an honor it is to go and tell! To see the glory of my faithful, gracious God on display... He is my reward.

Hot Green Cookies and Phineas and Ferb

I have deemed today Aly Weimer Day.

I watched Phineas and Ferb and I made hot green cookies after dinner. If only we had ice cream, the day would be complete. Sadly, I must leave this portion of the celebration of Aly Weimer Day until tomorrow.

And call it psychology, but hot green cookies taste much more lime-y than do normal cookies.

That is all.

on the idea of training...

I just read a blog from Garaywa camp director Erica Hagar about her training to walk a half-marathon. I thought as I read - man, I really admire her! And then it kinda hit me that at some point this summer, I'm going to be walking a good deal in pretty high altitude...and how have I prepared for this? By sleeping late, lying around my house, reading Les Miserables, watching too many episodes of Say Yes to the Dress for anyone's good health, and eating junk food. All this is cause for depression in such an extrovert as I...

So tomorrow begins my "three-week resolutions".... Sure. Why not?
For the remainder of my summer at home, I so solemnly resolve to...
- get out of bed at a time of day which most people would consider to be "morning" - that is, around 9 a.m. :/
- spend time with the Lord first and foremost.
- GO OUTSIDE for at least two nonconsecutive hours at some point each day.
- watch less than one hour of television a day, zombie movie nights not included.
- invest in relationships - those with my family that I take for granted too often as well as those with random strangers.

Other than that... we'll see what happens.

Three weeks from tomorrow, I get on a plane headed to South America for two months. I'm taking advantage of every moment HERE to train for taking advantage of every moment THERE. No more missed opportunities. No more regrets.

Carpe diem. It's more than fish of the day.